Well, I just got back from my trip to Chantaburi yesterday.. I'm so glad to be back in Bangkok again.

I now know how life can be so depressing without friends. Stay at home all day, watching movies, playing piano.. basically floating around the house. I will never take my life at NZ for granted again. Funny thing is I feel so happy and free in NZ but I feel so tie down here, in Bangkok, my home town.

I have noticed I keep on worring about what other people with think of me or feel about me if I decided to do or say certain things. Not that it is a bad thing but then I take it to the extreme that I always do things just for the sake of other people even though I myself do not want to do them. Does staying in other people's good graces worth abandoning my dreams, not speaking my mind and not being me? I think not.. but then.. how come it always happen to me? Many people said to me "Don't care about what other people think. Just care about what God would think of you" easy to say, so hard to do... but in the end, isn't it the same? Staying in God's good book? I know He understands me, he made me who I am. He knows what I desire, how I feel about certain things....but why do I feel like I still have to "not being me" if I were to stay in His good book?

Time away from my friends, from church, from my special person brings up all these questions I never thought they were there before. This holiday is going to be interesting indeed.