suddenly, life just seem meaningless.. when old feelings start to resurface:
The feelings for particular person that I used to love.. God only knows, maybe I still do.. even though I know in my heart that he might not be the one God had in mind for me. Trying so hard to let go.. almost succeeded when I started to fall back again. I crossed the boundary I had set to guard my heart, thinking "just a little bit.. for a little while.. it wouldn't hurt"..... I compromise too much.
The guilt for the things that I did. Wishing that there might be a way to turn back time and erase it. Although I had asked God for forgiveness and He had set me free. The condemnation resurface every now and then. But, forever faithful, God took my hand and lead me through it.
The feeling of uncertainty for my future.
All these things brought me to my knees and cry out to Him. When the desires and the feelings start to consume me.. He become even more real. Praise be to my God, my Rock, my Fortress, my Protector... His love sets me free.
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I also want to use this opportunity to thank Nicola, who always been there for me. Nic, you are such a blessing to me. I can never thank God enough for you. Thank you for all your advice, sincerity and your genuine love for me. I love you heaps...
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