Spectacular

Work starts tomorrow.. and uni starts this Saturday. Kinda exciting (mainly about Uni) and kinda dreadful (yeah.. totally about work).

I've been thinking a lot about what I've achieved in my life. I feel that I haven't really achieved anything spectacular. I feel as if I've wasted many years of my life doing things half heartedly. I wish I can be one of those people who did well in school.. I wish I could turn back time and maybe.. just maybe.. I could change my life around.

"I wish".. always going to be "I wish"... wishes are good but these kind of wishes can really ruin your life and waste your time. I should not think about it anymore.. what I should do is focusing on doing my best NOW..

but I can't help wishing..

I want a scholarship.. that enables me to go abroad and pursue my study.. but I'm just not good enough.. not clever enough.

Well, I'll try anyway.. I might go on an exchange programe.. and who knows.. maybe I could achieve something spectacular this time.

A friend forever lost

A friend forever lost

I've lost a friend.. Miss Rattanaruthai or P'Song

She was one of my classmate at ABAC.. I don't know her well but we occasionally talk. She always had a smile on her face. I was starting to get to know her better at the end of last term, which is merely several weeks ago. She was so alive then.

The news of her death came.. like sudden wave that made my world spin. How could that be? That's not true.. she was so healthy. ..I kept saying that to myself. It wasn't until yesterday when I was finally there at her funeral that I realised that she is really gone. Still, it feels unreal. I was sitting there, trying to get it into my head that she is gone.. I have to say to myself that it is my dear friend that is lying in that coffin. Her pictures were everywhere.. so beautiful and full with energy. Her face, her voice, and her smile are so vivid in my memory. I smiled when I remember how she gently warned me not to drink too much coffe.. and how she said that the chicken rice at ABAC is so famous because everybody can never decide whether it actually taste bad or good. I miss her already. We never even had a picture taken together.

I ask God "Why?".. why would someone so caring, so warm, so nice, so beautiful, and so young is taken away from this world. She has so much to offer.. she still have the whole world ahead of her. I haven't cried.. but there is sadness in my heart. My heart griefs for her.

Photos

Hi guys..

I've posted some new photos at my Flickr web page so you can check it out by clicking the link on your left.. yeah.. see it? it's right there.. on your left.. yes yes.. there!! THERE!!

Anyway, I would be transferring the photos I have at Multiply to Flickr.. when I have the time of course.

Later!!

Oh.. the memories

Oh.. the memories

A quote I love from The Alchemist

"Why do we have to listen to our hearts?" the boy asked, when they had made camp that day.

"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure," answered the alchemist.

"But my heart is agitated," the boy said. "It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it's become passionate over a woman of the desert. It askes things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I'm thinking about her."

"Well, that's good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say."

I really should stop playing Minesweeper.

I seemed to have lots to talk about a minuet before and now I am literally speechless. I don't know what to talk about!!

I am actually trying to arrange the school field trip. I still can not be bothered..I know I should have finished this ages ago!! Procrasination never help.. I should have know this by now but still.. my laziness always manage to trip me over.

Not much is happening today.. or the following week. I only have one more week left before I have to go back to work. Oh, not really looking forward to that!! and Uni is starting too. More late nights but oh well.

Lazy lazy lazy lazy...

Nam's discovery of Minesweeper

I've never played Minesweeper in my entire life. I always know what it is and what's the goal of the game but never ever understand the rules. So today, bugged with extreme boredom, I decided "What the heck, might as well try it out"... and now I'm an addict. I've been playing it for 3 hours straight now. Not a very productive thing to do, but oh well..

I suppose to be working!! I really need to start doing research on my thesis (I think I will do about Games addiction in teenagers - how ironic).. and I really need to arrange field trips for the school I'm working for. I really can not be stuffed (plus it's not my job anyway, I'm a lab technician.. not a secretary!!).. but it's the boss order so I gotta do it.

Recent movie what I've watched that had made a good impression on me is "Crash". Great movie, you gotta see it. I also watched "I [heart] huckabees" at the end of last year, along with "Lost in Translation". The movies are great but I miss the company more. The late nights filled with movies, good friends, and my awesome bakings. I really miss my life in Dunedin. There's so much to do back there. Yes, Bangkok is certainly a lot bigger than Dunedin and theoretically it should have more things for me to do but strangely that's not so. With work occupying majority of my time and study takes me late into the night, by the time I got home my energy was all drained away since 4 pm. So normally, I would rather rest and do absolutely nothing during the weekends. This is probably why some people get so sick of life. It's the same everyday. Good thing that school is now closed so I have a bit of a wind down... with Jamie Collum playing and nice hot tea. Aaah, life at this exact moment is great.

This year is a year of reflection for me. I've been thinking alot about my dreams and desires..and also my fears. Trying to figure out who I really am. At the lowest point of my confidence, self-esteem and emotions (which happened around June), Fate actualyl dropped in, said "hello", and helped me up. Through a series of events (and some misunderstanding), I got my hands on the book called "The Alchemist". Definitely the best book I've ever read in my entire life and that is not an exaggeration. Changed my look on life entirely.

I think I shall leave this blog like this.. will elaborate on this later.. shall go blog-hopping again..

Look how blonde I am..

You Are Blonde Highlights

Men see you as flexible and versatile - you fit in to every situation You've got the inner glow of a blonde, the intensity of a redhead... And the wisdom of a brunette.

How Blonde Are You?

Really? Any comments people??

Thanks to Mel and Bibs in helping me to realised my blondness.

My poor poor blog

I haven't blog for ages (this seems to be my greetings in my blog nowadays). I browsed thru my previous entries (since Jan '05) and they're all so animated!! Gosh.. I also love the replies. It worth writing entries just to read those replies. My blog is looking a bit sad at the moment. Hmm.. I shall spend the rest of the night blog-hopping and leave messages here and there. Hmmmmm.. wondering what Sam is up to.

Reading my old entries certainly make me miss Dunedin. I wish I could go back soon!!

Anyway, I am having a holiday. Both from uni and from work... yes from work and still getting paid. That's the beauty of working in a school.

I survived my first term at Uni. It's actually pretty easy and I enjoy learning Psychology a lot. I love it. I love what I am learning and I can not wait to use my knowledge to help people. That's the ultimate goal. There are times that I doubt that I would be able to help someone but I would never know if I don't try. Soon.. I'm going to be a Psyc grad.. just like Sam!!

I might be going to Singapore at the end of the year. That is, if Jian, Mel, and Annisha would get back to me about it!! Seriously people!! Don't leave me hanging!!

Well, that's about it at the moment. I shall go Blog-hopping.

Hop Hop... hop