Saturday, July 30, 2005

14 days and counting...

The King's ball is exactly 2 weeks away from today. SCARY. Remember how I said that I'll stop being anxious. Well, it's not working. I tried not thinking about it when I'm in bed, I tried to focus on something else, I even tried to read a novel !! Well, the novel thing work for half an hour each time I pick it up. I think the only thing that actually keep me occupied right now is my lab report which is due this coming Tuesday. It's about the role of NMDA receptor in memory and learning. It is a very interesting topic but at the same time, it also is a pain in the .... !!!! I would happily type up my lab report if the results of my experiment have "*" which means there is a significant difference between the treatment groups and that my experiment worked and that it actually produce something worth writing about. But noooooooooooo... when my lab partners typed in the numbers and did statistical analysis on the results... it all came up with "ns" = not significant. Aaaaargh !!!

So what could I write? The worse part of it is... the experiment suppose to work. It'd been proven soooooooooo many times that it actually worked !! So what went wrong?? Well, probably it's because we had a pretty fat mouse to begin with and I doubt that it do a lot of exercise during its lifetime. C'mon, if I was the mouse with heated cage and constant supply of food and water, I wouldn't do much either. But I wouldn't want the be a lab mouse for all the money in the world. Considering what we did with it in the lab. We put it in a pool and let it swim around trying to find a hidden platform, then we injected a drug called CPP which supposedly stopping it from learning, move a platform to a new place and put the poor mouse in the pool again. I was sure by the end of the 2nd session, the mouse was extremely agitated and angry with us and probably want a revenge as soon as it's big enough and manage to escape the lab technicians somehow. I even thought I saw it give me an evil grin.... nah, I'm exaggerating... the lab lasts for the whole 4 hours and I was extremely tired and hungry. I see things when I'm very tired. Oh have I told you that I named it "Spunky"? Yeah.. I think it's a cool name for such a brave cute lil' mouse. I got lightly told off by the demonstrator though for naming the mouse.

Anyway, better get back to my lab report. I have to head off early tomorrow and I want to do some more typing befor I get into bed.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

I am a sinner

I am a sinner.

I like to think that I am righteous while in reality, I am nasty and mean to the ones who love me. I get angry and annoyed at little things and I take it to heart. I say I "forgive" but I never forget. Somethings I know that it's my own fault things happen a certain way but I blame others anyway. I am selfish and rarely think of others first.

I am in every way the opposit of my Saviour. He gives unconditional love, He forgives and erase sin so we can be as white as snow, He came to this world to serve, not to be served, His mercy is never ending and He is forever faithful..

One more time, I shall humble myself and ask for His forgiveness and forgivemess from those around me. One more time, I shall kneel and pray that He will help me to live the right way. One more time, I shall ask for His grace to cover me and deliver me from this sin..

Friday, July 22, 2005

22 days...

till the King's Ball and I am extremely anxious. Sometimes I wonder to myself: why o why did I take this project upon myself? will things be done on time? will it turn out alright? blah blah blah. I even dreamed about it last night and it wasn't a very good one.

Yesterday, I was looking up things on the internet for the ball and I came across HireMaster website which is extremely good since it have information on the prices. So I jotted it down, ring some more people and I was in the process of writing it all up in a new piece of paper and all sort of things were running through my mind. Particularly the bit concerning how Tim still haven't get information on the archway when we was told to do so ages ago, how the tickets and posters still haven't been printed, etc and I was getting scared & annoyed by the minute. Unfortunately that's when Mel got home.. I was reading out the list of things and prices to her when she started asking me questions. Being a bad friend that I am, I started taken it out on her. I raised my voice and she raised hers back to me... fair enough cause she have every right to do so. It's not like a major row or anything.. pretty minor actually but bad enough to make me feel even worse for the rest of the day. Well, I said sorry to her afterwards and we had a brilliant dinner (Tim and Jian made it for us... they even clean up after themselves !!!) then we headed of the church then Ceroc. Man.. last night we had such an awesome time together it's unbelievable. I forgot what a great girl she is and how awesome it is to be around her. After we got home, Mel, me & Layla stayed in the kitchen having teas and milo and had a really really good talk. Well, it's not really a talk.. we were teasing Mel about her boys. Ahh good times..

I really need to wind down and not to worry so much. I have a great God and an awesome team to help me. I just need to control my temper a bit more I guess....

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

post GetSmart 2005

Wow, 3 and a half days of GetSmart really taken its toll on me. For those who don't know, I was the counsellor in the ministry team for GetSmart. I have to be at church from 8 in the morning for a prayer meeting before the morning sessions, stayed for the arvo sessions and from 6 in the evening and spent an hour praying for the conference before the night session. It was absolutely full-on and eventhough I was extremely tired... I've never been so refreshed. To be in the position of serving others is really satisfying.

So what did I learned from GetSmart other than serving? I learned to pray.. to pray from my heart, to pray with boldness and storm the heaven. I learned to believe that God will be performing miracles on these young souls. I learned to come to the conference (and now church) with expectations. I learned to focus on God and praise him with all my heart during worship (I know, I know.. worhsip is not about the music but you know what I mean). I learned to stop "singing the words" but focusing on blessing Him. I learned to give and sow into His kingdom despite my circumstances. I know that He will provide me with a way out. I learned to want more from Him, not for my own sake so that I can boast, but for His glory and for others.

So what's the theme of GetSmart this year? Influence. I prayed that those youths who came to GetSmart will be transformed. I prayed that they will realise that they hold the future of this nation in their hands. I prayed that they will dream and be influence.

The youth pastor, Andrew Kabala, have a dream... and from this dream, GetSmart was born. God uses this man from Gore to reach the youth of this nation and transform lives. This is what I called influence.

Matthew Barnett, determined to be a successful pastor that have a church of ten thousand but when he died to his dream of becoming successful. God uses him to rescue postitutes, ranaways and gang members from the street.. and the Dream Center was born. This is what I called influence.

These guys are just a couple of example of people of influence, I can spent ages giving you examples. But what I want to tell you who are reading this blog. YOU also can be like these guys. You have all the power, opportunities and resources you need because you have God. So instead of just sitting there and waste all these things away. I encourage you today, to become influence.. because our God is a God of Influences.